It’s widely accepted that men with a full head of hair are more virile, masculine, macho and manly.
The media have brainwashed us into believing that baldness is ugly, hateful, vile and despicable.
The bad guys in Hollywood are always bald. It’s a shock to see older TV shows and movies where men are balding or their hair is thinning. In a culture obsessed with reality TV shows it’s irrational that thinning hair is so absent in the visual media.
It’s a pretty good bet that every leading man in Hollywood takes Rogaine. One dab of foam every morning keeps the ego pumped up. Hell, most men period use Rogaine.
But hey! Rogaine works because it re-balances your hormones, toning down a guy’s testosterone, feminizing him with a daily dose of topical estrogen. This causes a huge reduction in the libido.
These minoxydil men may look sharp but they could care less about the opposite sex. Their ego may be pumped up, but their johnson is flaccid as a rotten banana. It’s no wonder there are so many gay men. The prostate is the new sexual organ.
Every man worth his salt uses Rogaine and not just actors. Politicians, businessmen, enterpreneurs, millionaires, billionaires – it’s a given that bald men get promoted less, make less money on average, and generally get left behind in the rat race. Thus it behooves men to use Rogaine, right?
Consider the consequences of a whole class of leading businessmen taking Rogaine. The prototypical killer instinct is gone, eradicated, nil, nixed. They cringe from taking the kinds of risks that equal success in business, science or engineering.
Investment managers need options, puts and derivatives to hedge their risks. Bankers need an endless line of government credit at zero percent interest. Car companies need bailouts.
Ditto for mortgage companies, energy companies and green companies. They all – every last one of them! – depend on the government for corporate welfare and tax breaks and outright government gifts to stay in business.
Movie studios, afraid to try something new, crank out umpteen sequels of Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Final Destination, Rambo, Dracula and Terminator. Corporate magnates and Boards of Directors ship entire industries to China because they can’t muster the gumption to promote science and math education at home.
They appeal to the Rogaine Aristocracy in Washington to issue 100,000 visas each MONTH for tech workers. (Hell, our economy only creates a little over 100,000 jobs a month.) Politicians haggle endlessly over petty issues while our national debt DOUBLES in just six years.
We spend five trillion dollars on two major wars trying to beat a couple thousand terrorists armed with rocks and knives. Only one in ten soldiers in (Iraq or) Afghanistan ever leaves their comfy bases on combat missions. The other ninety percent are there in “support roles.”
Male soldiers don’t wear jockstraps any more. They wear lingerie. It takes 15,000 people in the Pentagon eight weeks to respond to an attack on our consulate in Benghazi by armed militias.
Our leaders at every level, in every industry and in all walks of life, are cringing, sissified gnomes. They have zero testicular fortitude. Doh! Because they have no cojones. They’ve been chemically neutralized.
Our corporate and political aristocracy might as well be wearing wigs and tights and makeup, dancing to a string quartet in the court of King George in jolly olde England.
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