Women have to resort to black magic any more to get their man.
What, with all the competition from beer ads, porn stars and even tall, erect presidential candidates who pose in a grand vagina-shaped podium to accept the nomination.
Alas, not even a miracle cure gets her boyfriend’s flagpole up.
It’s unusual to see a women resort to even souped up whiles, however. These days women have breast implants, plastic surgery, drugs, extreme fashion, raves, and downright aggression.
What’s a lady to do as a last resort but dabble in the black magic?
Even with all the arrows spent from their Cupid’s quiver, women still can’t shake their men from their jobs. Not even with Mom’s (repeated) help. Men and their feminized Rogaine dos.
Not to worry, there’s always Viagra to get it up for her when your johnson deflates in the sudsy bathtub in a fragrant candlelight vigil.
Gone are the days when every Hollywood mansion in Belle Aire had a room dedicated to devil worship. Now they all have rooms with full mirror walls so they can gaze for endless dreamy hours, basking in their own infinite beauty. The “Narcissism Room.”
Even self-adulation isn’t enough. The Hollywood greats cut out our hearts at the end of the day to keep themselves on your altar of worship.
All of Hollywood is a witch’s coven hell bent on casting an evil liberal spell on the rest of the world — be you ware!!!
