Do you ever worry about the horses that get slaughtered in an old western or Civil War battle scene? Or maybe the dogs or cats that get eviscerated by all the sadistic killers in horror flicks?
How do they get those spine-tingling cat howls?
Caterwauls they’re called. I love that word! What do they do to make rottweilers so vicious?
I know modern movies have a disclaimer sometimes in the credits, “no animals were harmed in making this film.” Well, what about the films that don’t have that disclaimer? What about old timey films! Were horses given a choice of an express ticket to a glue factory or Picket’s Charge at the Battle of Gettysburg? The Alamo or the Mexican fajita plant?
Well, you best dig those big red worry beads out of your junk drawer and start your routine because the U.S. Senate just created a loophole to let Hollywood torture, maim and gut Fido, Fluffy and Mr. Ed ‘till their heart’s content.
According to The Hill, the purpose of this vitally important piece of legislation is to exempt actors who use their own animals in films from an odious amount of paperwork as required by the Animal Welfare Act.
What, these numbskulls who are using their own pets to make a quick buck can’t be bothered to fill out a few forms? When they’d never get the acting gig in the first place if it weren’t for Max or Fritz or Gato?
Where’s the Senate bill requiring fair compensation for the animals? A new doghouse, a couple scrawny mice to chase around the house – a yard! – spring vacation on a farm, chasing barnyard mice until the harvest moon comes up?
I guess Hollywood won’t be making any more films in Mississippi. We have a law that makes it a misdemeanor (a felony for multiple infractions) for a person to mistreat his pet in any way.
It doesn’t matter how much paperwork you fill out. If you aren’t nice to your animals you’re in trouble.
Since when does the U.S. Senate get involved in such a miniscule issue, favoring such a tiny number of Americans. Hello? Just how many actors use their own pets in the movies? Hell, what kind of person submits their own pet to the horrors of filming – doing the same scene over and over and over again – then again?
Why isn’t there a Screen Animals Guild?
And how many of these fine actors banded together, pooled all their resources, hired major league lawyers and K Street lobbyists and Hollywood publicists, worked at this for months and years; after work, on weekends, on vacations – filled out the truckloads of paperwork to get this whole issue before Congress; all so they could avoid spending 2 minutes Xeroxing one form every time they starve Fido so he looks ravenous in a dog food commercial; or zaps Gato with 120 volts of juice so she caterwauls loud enough to make your skin crawl?
I’ll never again look at a movie or a commercial with an animal in it the same way.
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
