Underworld Awakening

This is a parable of the modern woman. She spends her youth on the pill and wakes up decades later only to realize how utterly numb the pill has made the last 20 years of her life.

Underworld Awakening
Underworld Awakening

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that anything that can void, postpone, ameliorate or even nix mensuration altogether has got to be pretty damn strong. Half a woman’s guts are plugged into the reproductive system. You short circuit the baby machine, you screw up the whole enchilada.

Studies show definitively that being on the pill (1) reduces a woman’s interest in sex, (2) reduces the joy she gets from having sex and (3) generally voids the psychological benefits of sex. In other words, the intimacy and bond that comes from sexual relations with a loved one.

Our heroin is actually frozen in stasis for years, literally; but what’s the difference? Without meaningful relationships, the psyche is frozen by the pill. With all a woman’s hormones disabled by the pill, what’s left? The personality becomes ruthless, the love becomes shallow and the relationships fleeting.

Of course, the same thing happens with men and their obsession with losing hair. They use Rogaine, which mucks with their hormones. Guys on Rogaine may look okay, but their libido is nonexistent. They keep their hair but lose their Johnson. Some guys become ruthless werewolves. Other men become blood sipping vampires. Neither of them are alive.

Put these two together and you have a totally dysfunctional relationship. The woman is aggressive, and the man is passive. Their hormonal cycles are totally out of whack, to the point where the gal has to be ready to have sex any time he wants it because it’s either then or never.

Her emotional motor is so out of tune that she can’t climax for a man because of love (on account of her having zero empathy), but only if he has a full head of hair. Both actors may be attractive and alluring. Inside they’re ugly as sin.

The evil drug companies love all this intrigue. Easy money! Personally, I don’t know why couples can’t do something else when she’s in heat. Buy a sex manual.

There are thousands of games you can play that don’t involve coitus.

Awaken your sexuality.

" Don't you go and tamper with my reproductive rights. "
” Don’t you go and tamper with my reproductive rights. “